Events, and some thoughts that go along with them.

Some things occurred this past weekend that I want to make mention of, and perhaps a few thoughts about them.

The part of my family that currently lives in the same house as me.

First, I had a birthday on Saturday. I have traveled around the sun 54 times, so far. We had a nice lunch with my parents, and I got a gift card for some nice meat for my charcoal smoker from my Bonus son, Kyle. (From the very beginning of our marriage, we have always used the term "bonus", instead of "step". A bonus is something which is added, an additional blessing above and beyond the normal.

I thought that was the end of it. After running around, we came home, where my lovely wife told me to keep my shoes on; she had a surprise, and she was going to drive. Now, it might not seem like a big deal that she would drive, except she hasn't really driven for more than a year, since all of her issues with heavy pain and anti-seizure medications, and the surgeries. Well, we proceeded up the road a fair piece, to a Wisconsin supper club on a lake by Delavan called "The Villiage". I had a very good prime rib, and it was a wonderful surprise.

Move along a day to Sunday, Father's Day. We planned on stopping off at my folks after church. I had a card and a little eagle in flight figurine for my Dad. We saw them, and the Kyle gave me a card, which I read. He wrote some very touching things about how he felt about me. There was also, where you usually sign the card, a small flap of paper taped in. I turned it over, and it said, "Will you adopt me?".

It's important to understand: Kyle is 21, an adult in his own right. I love him like I do my other three kids, Faye, Tori, and Aaron. His biological father, Lori's ex-husband, is still alive, and until a few years ago paid the bare minimum of attention to Kyle. Since he is no longer required by law to treat Kyle like a son, he doesn't. This is something Kyle has thought about for some time. If we had pursued this earlier, there would have been a very difficult time in court, not because he particularly cared about Kyle, but because he would see it as a way to stick it to Lori.

So, Kyle is, and has been since Lori and I got married, my son in all but name. He and my kids call each other brother and sister, and their cousins are his cousins. As soon as we file the paperwork, and stand up in front of a family court judge, he will be my son in name as well, and I couldn't be happier.

My first Father's Day was in 1986, a month after Faye was born. I had just turned 21 and I was utterly unready to be a husband and father. Yesterday was my 33rd Father's Day. I just turned 54, and I still struggle with being a husband and father. I must have learned some things over the years for both roles since I still have both roles. Learning to be a husband took nearly 23 years in the first marriage, and nearly 9 years so far in my last marriage.

Learning to be a father actually started a lot longer ago, but that is a much bigger topic, and will show up here in a little while.